


Falling Back Into Themselves

by Merfilly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 02:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10453320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: It's been three years of growing peace, three years where Ahsoka has not been with them, and Rex has missed her. Then she's home, and everything changes.





	

Anakin took Luke back from Rex, as Leia scampered up her father's tall body all on her own, making the man thankful for the design of his clothes which prevented her from choking him when she pulled herself up the tunic to claim his shoulders as her perch.

"Glad to see you back, General," Rex said out of habit, even as he smiled for Leia's precociousness. 

"Not the general — Annnnn-ahhhh-kinnnn!" the twins chorused before their father could open his mouth, making them giggle, Anakin smile, and Rex shake his head.

"They have a point," Anakin told him. "I've told you, outside of full military maneuvers, call me by my name. Three years of ignoring a direct order is a bit much, Rex," he teased.

"It's not that I'm ignoring it, Anakin. It's just a habit I can't seem to shake, on seeing you first thing after a separation."

"Yes, well, you are half-raising my children when neither I or Padmé can be home; I think that more than makes us on a personal name basis," Anakin told him. "You are part of our family. Even if you did turn down both of our family names." 

"Didn't feel right, Anakin. I'll choose a clan name some day," Rex said, before they began walking back to the house together. Anakin managed both the twins easily enough, though Rex kept an eye out for them and for trouble. Sometimes it found them on Naboo. Not often; not many people wanted to tangle with one of the Jedi that had settled with an entire battalion of veteran troopers.

They made the trek from the troop compound up to the house in decent time, with only three distracted stops from the twins wanting to check out something or change where they were being carried. The veteran trooper reflected that these last three years were an absolute boon to make up for the three and a half of war prior to that. He missed certain people, at times, and would have given anything to see more of his brothers have survived that awful last week of the war, but they had made good lives for those who did make it through the betrayal of the Chancellor and his trap inside the Vod'e An.

"Oh, knew I forgot something, in seeing the twins," Anakin said, just as they were about to enter the house. "Ahsoka's back."

Two words, and all of Rex's contentment in life suddenly seemed meaningless and empty. Public outcry had forced Ahsoka to accept her Knighting, after her part in exposing the trap, in trying desperately to head it off before the Order was completely destroyed, and the Republic alongside it. Rex knew how close they had come to losing the General, and was pretty certain that if Ahsoka had not gone up against him in his own head, they would not have this life at all.

And then Ahsoka had left, barely two weeks after the twins had been born, accepting a mission that was so top secret that Anakin had only been able to tell him that she had chosen the mission herself, and that she would be gone for months. Months had turned to years, and only the fact Anakin could touch the bond had kept them assured she was alive.

"Rex, you okay?" Anakin asked, hand on the door to open it, as Leia held onto him while riding his hip, and Luke kept 'accidentally' covering his eyes from up on the shoulders.

"Yeah, fine, sir," Rex said in a distracted tone, and with the honorific giving away that he was anything but. When everything had happened, from the framing of his Commander for a crime she couldn't possibly have committed to learning she had made a deal to go undercover after being cleared, all the way to the sudden end of the war, Rex had struggled with having an Ahsoka-shaped hole in his life. Getting her back, officially reinstated to her rank and place in the Order, had given him hope that he could renew their friendship, but then she'd left again.

Three years was a long time, especially to a clone, leaving Rex to wonder what this meeting was going to be like. He followed Anakin into the house, where both twins got put on their own feet and took off like a shot for their mother who was waiting on them. Rex gave her a nod and absent greeting, but his eyes were scanning, looking for the Jedi Knight he had helped shape nearly as much as Anakin had.

"Looking for Ahsoka?" Padmé asked. "She went to sleep for a while, Rex. I'm afraid Anakin and I kept her up most of the trip back."

"Ahh, of course. I … I'm just relieved to know she's made it back," he answered the Senator. "I should probably head back down."

"You're welcome to stay," Anakin said. "Pretty sure she still sleeps like a lothcat."

Rex smirked at that, remembering Admiral Yularen praising the girl for 'insuring adequate communication between shifts' because of her habit of showing up on the bridge for all three duty periods. He also recalled her habit of curling up anywhere she could get away with, but especially against the men, even in armor, to get her sleep periods in.

"I don't want to be in the way; the twins have missed you both," he demurred, causing Padmé to make a noise at him. 

"And we've missed them… as well as our brother who takes care of them when we cannot," she said. "Stay, catch us up on what you and the men taught them this time," she entreated, which meant he couldn't actually make his escape, because no one told the Senator 'no'.

He settled in the family room with them, listening when Luke started telling Padmé all about the dragon he wanted to be when he grew up, and Leia complaining that Uncle Fives had stopped Hardcase from teaching her how to use his blaster. Rex really needed to have another child safety briefing among the men soon, apparently. Fortunately, Padmé took it in with a smile, and Anakin just shook his head, knowing Hardcase.

The twins had settled down some, letting Rex actually tell about the week both parents had missed, when a small sound drew Rex's eyes to the doorway… and he completely lost his train of thought.

Standing there, framed by the solid wood and stone of Padmé's home, was a woman that looked almost nothing like Rex's memories and everything he could have imagined from the child-soldier Ahsoka Tano had been. When he took in the full height of her montrals, she was as tall as Anakin. More, though, was how slender her face had grown, and he wondered if she had been eating enough in an idle part of his mind. Her lekku were past her waist, draping down to slender points that accented her athletic build in oddly enticing ways.

That his brain was on full-stop at just how enticing was evidenced by the fact he was more or less staring at the white marks peeking out of the brief hip wrap she wore, and how much more noticeable the ones on her arms and legs had become.

"Hello to you too, Rexter," Ahsoka said after a long moment of just standing there, taking him in, when he didn't actually speak, his eyes having tracked up to her face, seeing how the changes there had shifted the wing-marks, the diamonds, the lines… and his brain finally engaged enough for him to realize just how much he had lost himself in seeing her again.

"Hello, Ashoka," he managed to say, hoping he had not turned as red as Shaak Ti. That was something else he was noticing, that Ahsoka's orange skin had deepened a little. Maybe that was why the white was so much more noticeable? The growth in her montrals and lekku had pulled the blue lines into slightly new patterns, but—

— He was doing it again, getting lost in the changes in her. 

"Why does she warrant first name without getting rank after the long absence?" Anakin complained, good-naturedly. 

"Oh Ani," his wife half-scolded, but she was watching the pair with interest.

"I'm not sure which rank she holds any longer, Anakin," Rex defended himself, but his eyes would not pull away from the woman as she crossed into the room, choosing to drop in a graceful twist of limbs in front of the couch the twins and their parents were on. She closed her eyes when both children seemed shy at her being so near them.

"Technically, I'd be a General, but I haven't been reassigned from the 501st. So Commander… if we were actually on mission," Ahsoka told him, before she gave all of her focus to touching the Force, letting her presence connect with the twins. Rex watched as both of them relaxed, and Leia even dropped down off the couch to curl into the woman's lap.

"Told you they'd know you for family, Snips."

"Safe and warm," Leia said softly. "Always knew you?"

Ahsoka laughed softly, shaking her head. "Not always, little princess. But I was there when you were born, and I had to make a Force bond with you, to help your dad protect you from danger." 

Rex's hackles went up; he really didn't like that the Chancellor had very nearly stolen the twins' lives for himself, after having been killed. Such things bit hard against the culture of the Vod'e An.

"Our Jedi," Luke said, nodding as the Force connection felt so right to him. She wasn't quite like Obi-Wan, who had been around them so much, but to the precocious twins, a Force connection was more solid as identity than actually seeing the person.

Rex felt little parts of his brain melting away at seeing how easily Ahsoka settled Leia in her lap, how she fell right back into life with the Senator and the General and even himself like it hadn't been three years. She didn't say anything about her time away, but had all the questions about what she had missed. She handled the children engaging her in conversation with ease, and treated Anakin with the same irreverence and love as always.

Rex found himself losing all concept of reality outside of her, which was patently ridiculous, and left him trying to figure out why. He'd seen beautiful women before; he lived near Padmé after all! He saw her former handmaidens on a regular basis! 

This was Ahsoka, though. This was the girl that had gotten back up from a punishing blow to face her attacker, to lead that attacker away, rather than let Rex be killed or have the mission fail. This was the Commander that had brazenly tested him on first meeting concerning rank… and then given him the respect he was due, listening to him intently and learning how to survive. This was Ahsoka Tano, the jetii that had spent the last years of her childhood protecting his brothers as best as she could… and in the missing three years, she had most certainly grown up completely.

The tale of Ahsoka versus the Mandalorian fighters came back to him, when she had bested an entire squad of them, and he recalled how that tale had set even more of the shinies to dogging her steps, intent on admiring the perfect warrior they saw their commander as. Yet here she was, displaying every bit of family care and clan love as a brother could wish for.

Stars, but he was infatuated with her, and that was so disrespectful to their friendship, the partnership they had built in serving together! It was an insult to the deep concern they had shared, the way they had been able to go to one another to discuss their troubles. How could his brain and hormones be doing this to him?

"Hey, Rexter, care to lend me a hand?" 

The words snapped Rex away from his thoughts, and he realized Ahsoka was looking his way and had passed a now napping Leia to her father. 

"Certainly. With what?"

Padmé's smile, hidden by leaning down to kiss her son's paler hair, was warning enough that he'd missed a piece of the conversation. Ahsoka, amazingly, neither laughed nor rolled her eyes, merely looking at him with an upraised eye-mark. 

"Moving my things down to the compound?" she asked slowly.

Stars, but he was about to be dead if he didn't reel in his reactions to those words, Rex realized. 

"Why don't you just borrow the hopper?" Anakin suggested.

"Because it's a grand total of two packs, and a walk would be nice, on a world that isn't possessed by dead spirits, overrun by rancors, or otherwise a huge reminder of being way too close to the Dark Side." Ahsoka shrugged at Anakin. "Though it's not the rancors' fault they live there and tend to have nasty tempers. They aren't actually Dark Side."

Rex heard a story in that, and so did Anakin, but he figured he'd better step up and have his Commander's back. "I don't mind carrying one at all, Ahsoka. And a walk will be good."

"Thanks, Old Boy," Ahsoka said with an impudent smile. She rose and went to get the bags from where she had slept earlier, leaving Rex under the scrutiny of both the other adults. Luke was cuddling sleepily, obviously on the way to a nap like his sister as he monopolized his mother's arms. 

"What?" he finally asked, to give them an opening to say whatever they were thinking.

"Nothing at all, Rex," Anakin said, a faint amusement in his words. Likewise, Padmé shook her head, leaving him at a loss for why he was being scrutinized. Fortunately, Ahsoka came back quickly, having slipped leggings and boots and weapon belt on, though it still left her midriff and arms bare.

Somehow, half-covered, she was even more distracting to his libido, and that was patently unfair.

* * *

They got just out of sight of the house before Ahsoka glanced over at him in a way that Rex interpreted as curious.

"You don't mind that I'm taking quarters in the compound, do you, Rexter? Padmé offered a place at the house, but I really want to reconnect with the men, with you, and that wouldn't help me."

Rex shoved his reaction to her singling him out separately from the men aside, and focused on answering her. "I don't mind. Why would I mind? You never much used your own quarters on the ship; makes the most sense for you take some with us now, instead of always trekking back and forth," he said. 

Too many words, he realized, because that was a smirk and her lekku were twitching in ways that drew his attention to them, the skin visible beneath them… damn but he was acting like a shiny fresh off of Kamino!

"Rex… I missed you."

Those words were not what he'd been expecting, figuring she'd tease him over his babbling. He glanced sideways at her and saw she was neither smirking nor smiling, instead appraising him with a serious look that indicated she was paying close attention to him.

It flustered him on certain levels, while reassuring on others.

"Missed you too, Ahsoka," he admitted. "All the way back to the Order screwing things over for you."

She sighed. "Yeah. Never mind that half the Council apologized, and two of them argued for both of my undercover missions, I'm still sometimes angry at them for pushing me into the position where I felt I had to take those missions, to better protect all of you from what the public thought I was."

Rex felt anger flare again. "We knew you weren't a traitor all along; it took the General asking us to stand down to stop the mutiny to come help you."

"Yeah, Skyguy told me," she said, smiling a little as they kept walking at a companionable pace. 

"But… after? You were the Big Damn Hero, with Anakin and Kenobi. What do you mean that after was to protect us?"

Ahsoka took a deep breath. "I was seen as the most vulnerable of the three that fought Sidious, the one most likely to be attacked in retribution? I couldn't bring that down on the twins, on all of you," she said. "So I let them Knight me to shut the public up, and took the mission that would protect all of you and let me finish the war for real."

Rex's mind clicked over certain missions, the reason that some units had stayed active even after the treaty at Mustafar, signed by most of the Separatist Council, all of whom swore they had lost all power over the armies halfway through the first year, when Dooku had consolidated his power.

"You were chasing Dooku and the Dark Acolytes we have captured these past three years, flushing them out," Rex surmised. He saw, in the evening light, how her eyes darkened and her lekku stilled. 

He'd been living a good life, settling into his sentient rights and choosing his path while she'd been fighting the hard part of the war still. That did not set well on him at all.

"I had help, even if I still think Master Vos is full of bantha shit, and would have liked to feed him to a rancor." 

She didn't protest when his steps brought him closer to her, so they were walking almost shoulder to shoulder.

"Did you know Secura recovered from her injuries? Her and Bly are still partnered, as he went into the Support Corps," Rex said, trying to help her move away from the unpleasant memories for now. 

"Good. They deserved that. I'm sure it was hard at first, given he fell under the control of the chip," she said, still angry that she had only managed to block about half of the signals when Sidious was confronted.

"Most of the generals who survived made peace with their men quickly," Rex reassured her. He didn't have to tell her that the men who had succeeded in killing their generals had, mostly, managed to find some way to end their lives, either directly or through volunteering for hazardous missions.

"I'm thankful for that." She reached over and rested her hand on his arm. "I am glad to be back. I hope… you can forgive me for being gone so long?"

"Forgive you?" he asked, startled beyond belief. "You just told me you've been doing the heavy lifting to get the war ended, and you think I might be angry over it? I am, but it's anger for not having been there to watch your six, Ahsoka! And I am damned glad to know you came home to us, instead of the Temple, or another unit!"

He had covered her hand with his own, and felt the near convulsion of her fingers at something he had said before she was just giving him the cocky grin that made her look, for a moment, like the girl he had known.

"Nowhere else could have been home, Rexter; I promise you that."

* * *

The minute they had walked into the compound would be written in Rex's mind for the rest of his life. The core of Torrent Company had been in that first floor common work room, pursing their hobbies and vocational crafting skills. Hardcase, of all people, had glanced up, then back down at seeing it was just their Captain and some woman…

…and then his head had jerked back up. He didn't much pay attention to most who presented as feminine, but there wasn't an inch of Ahsoka Tano that didn't also scream 'deadly' and 'competent', which Hardcase did admire from a distance. Then he slowly realized the markings, though changed, were very familiar, and the moment after they clicked, he let out a yell that made everyone look to see.

And silence reigned for a good minute, while people placed who that was with their Captain. When it clicked, there was a complete mob motion, one Rex barely managed to avoid by sidestepping, having reached for and snagged the pack she was wearing, abandoning her to her fate of being hugged and even kissed, by men who remembered her as vividly and lovingly as Rex did. While they all gave their loyalty freely to Anakin Skywalker, there was a kinship to the padawan-commander of their memories that had the reunion overflowing with emotions, leading Ahsoka to both laugh and cry happy tears at the evidence of her place in Torrent's heart.

Their younglings, mates from outside the Vod'e An, and troopers that had joined them as the GAR was reduced in number of units were left to stare and wonder, but Ahsoka was at the heart of her family, her clan, for the first time in far too long. Rex could ignore all of his own strange reactions to her, to see the way the men reminded her she belonged with them.

* * *

It had been a long evening, with the men taking all of Ahsoka's attention, and getting her introduced to their extended family members. Rex had watched and listened, letting it wind into the night, until he saw the clear signs of fatigue building. Even three years gone, he knew what that looked like in their vod'ika, the only sister the 501st claimed. Enlisting Fives and Jesse, he was able to quietly shut down the impromptu party and make his way to her side.

He hoped the deep-set fatigue he was reading in her would pass with care and rest under their protection, that she hadn't done something stupid and driven herself into Force-debt. Cody had been hard-pressed to pull Kenobi back from his depletion, following the fight with Sidious. But then, Kenobi had wound up briefly fighting the General and the Sith Lord, before Ahsoka pulled Anakin back to his proper mind.

"Ahsoka," he said softly at her side, reaching out to help her stand. She smiled up at him… and damned if that didn't start the storm all over again. "We already moved your bags to one of the empty rooms. Let's get you to bed now."

She put her arm around his shoulders after standing, light and carefree. "It's good to be home, Rexter."

"We're very glad to have you home," he said neutrally, shifting an arm around her waist, all too aware of the lek brushing his arm along her back. That was a new sensation, a reminder of the changes, more hammering on the nail of them actually being on equal footing now.

She was no padawan learner, and he was no duty-blind soldier any longer. 

"If you don't want to be alone yet, Ahsoka… the berth in my room could probably handle both of us still, even if you are a giant," he found himself saying, one part of his brain promising that he meant it in the platonic way they had shared aboard the _Resolute_ and the other freaking out over putting temptation that close.

"I'm not a giant," she protested, before tipping her head so her montrals touched his shaved head. "I wouldn't say no to being that safe for my first night home," she agreed, and that was all Rex needed to sharply kill his libido and shift back to protective older brother for her.

They went to his room then, and she slipped free of her boots while he took off his own. After a moment, he chose to go to the 'fresher to finish changing, taking a pair of soft shorts with him and a loose shirt, even though he usually slept in his small clothes alone, now that he had settled to life on a planet like Naboo.

When he came back, she was just pulling one of his own shirts down over her hips, and he'd caught the tantalizing glimpse of nothing but her own small clothes beneath it. He chose not to say anything about her stealing a shirt and turned back the light blanket and sheet on the bed. She slipped away to the 'fresher then, and he settled in the bed, laying on his back in anticipation of her joining him.

As she came back, she killed the lights, and settled in the bed beside him, her head settling on his chest, body curled outward away from him, and one hand resting on his stomach. It wasn't quite like when she had been younger, but then her montrals hadn't been likely to put out an eye back then. He settled the arm near her down on her back, aware again of the lek there settling over his hand on her, and closed his eyes.

It was easier than he had thought it would be, to let himself go to sleep with her quiet breathing in his ears.

* * *

Rex woke, startled because someone was in his bed, then slowly recalled who and why… and was more startled. Ahsoka didn't sleep lengthy periods, and he was certain it had been hours. 

"Hi," came her soft voice, and he realized there was light creeping past the curtain on his window. That meant she'd been here all night?

"Morning," he said, trying to figure that out, but then she was shifting on the bed, rolling so she could look at his face but still keep her head cradled on his chest. That meant she was drawing her legs up, knees tucking in nearly at her chest and his arm was awkwardly resting along one shin, his hand automatically opening to rest the palm against her skin.

"You seemed so peaceful when I woke up, I decided to just meditate right here," she told him, smiling in the faint morning light. "I don't think I have slept that deeply since before my Trial, either."

"That pisses me off, you not being safe enough to sleep properly," Rex admitted, his filter on his tongue a little loose by knowing she had chosen to stay with him.

"Pretty sure it won't be happening again for a long time, now that I am back among my clan," she said softly, raising her hand to his face, rubbing the faint scruff there, reminding him he needed to shave again. She left her palm on his cheek, and traced his cheekbone with her thumb. "I missed you more than I can say, Rex. Being home with everyone is great, but if you had not been here, if you had gone to the 212th or actually left, I don't know that I could have chosen to be here."

Was it her touch or her words that made his heart feel like it had stuttered? He made himself breathe, eyes half-lidded at the touch, and tried to find the right words to answer her, but she was speaking still.

"I asked Skyguy what the 501st was like now, and he saw right through me. Because he answered, 'Rex keeps things running smooth' and that was all I needed to know to tell the Jedi Council where I would be assigned. I had my choice, you see, given that none of them really wanted to deal with me anyway. Well, not the die-hards. They knew letting me choose was the best way to know I wouldn't darken their doorstep any time soon."

There was a story there, in how he could almost hear that there was little love lost between the Jedi and Ahsoka even now, a lot like Anakin and them, but he was hanging up on the idea that it sounded like she hadn't just chosen the 501st, that she had chosen him specifically.

"'Soka?" he asked, softening his voice on the short-form of her name, and letting all of his confusion show. They needed to be clear, now, before either of them made an assumption that hurt the others, because that would spiral out and hurt the men, maybe the younglings as Ahsoka won them over.

"Home, Rex, is you. It has been since probably the listening station, when we got Artoo back," she told him in a quiet voice. "I've missed you, and I'm tired of holding it back to just the friendship we shared on the _Resolute_ , and I am pretty sure you are too."

He slowly began to smile, hand moving on her leg very lightly. "You haven't gotten any less blunt in your time away, have you, 'Soka? Or less observant. I was worried that me reacting to you like that would be unwelcome, and not wanting to wreck our friendship."

She moved then, sure and confident, stretching along his body, one leg slotting between his as she rested against his chest, facing him. The way she felt like that made him notice in ways that felt so good, enticing him to bring his hands to her hips, holding her over him.

"We are friends. We can be more, though, and there's nothing stopping us any longer." That said, she brought her lips to his, and Rex learned that kissing was one more skill she had picked up and excelled at. He looked forward to finding out what other skills she was willing to show off, as he decided today was a day for staying in bed.

She certainly didn't seem to mind.

**Author's Note:**

> I intended to write a smutlet for RexSoka. Then this happened. I have no idea when or how to write the story of Asajj and Quinlan and Ahsoka hunting Count Dooku, let alone HOW Ahsoka helped bring around Sidious's end. Those bits evolved as the fic got away from me.


End file.
